I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
