Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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