All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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