i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
