I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
