your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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