You work out of a Hotel?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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