I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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