Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
