it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
