dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
