She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
