You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
