Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
