Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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