i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
