I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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