Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
