Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
