wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
