he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Randomize
