I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize