you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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