woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
