Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
