K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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