theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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