Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
