She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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