He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
