Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize