i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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