you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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