I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
