I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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