Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Randomize
