I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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