my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
