he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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