I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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