Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
