I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
