Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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