I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
