All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
