Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
