Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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