Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
