i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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