if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
