..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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