well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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