Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
