I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
