Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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