It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
