And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it's great music for shaving your balls
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
