What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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