it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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