Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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