you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize