I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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