I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
